Just admit it. You have a crackhead in your family. Everyone does. My happy family produced "Crackhead Roy". The best crackhead uncle a gal could ask for.
I would post photos of Crackhead Roy so everyone can get a visual, but I think since I admitted in print that I am actually related to him, thats enough. Let me try to help you picture what I get to stare at in disbelief when he comes around to beg for money or recyclable bottles.
Roy is about 42 years old and stands about an even 6 feet. He has black hair that looks like it gets washed each time America votes for our next president. His clothing attire is a pair of beat down nikes that he has had since I was in high school, levis that have seen two decades and t-shirts full of holes and stains from the crack smoke that gets blown on them.
I have the pleasure of telling you that the man smells like prostitute vagina, crack residue, stale ciggarettes, ninety-nine cent beer and ass. I would bet he changes clothes weekly and showers bi-weekly. Did I mention I am adopted? Anyhoo.....
Now that you have a feel for him, I would like to share one of his amazing stories. Crackhead Roy gets locked up about twice a year. Back in 2002, he was locked up for about six months. During his incarceration, Crackhead Roy wrote me a letter. I would like to share with you a few highlightes..........
February 5, 2002.........
......... I am on the first floor. The *f#gs are on the third floor. We dont go up there. It smells like sh*t. We hear them have sex at night time.
........ We get really hungry in here. A bunch of us decided to go in on some noodles and have a big dinner. We lined our toilet with a garbage bag and put like 15 packs of ramen noodles in their and some water and cooked the noodles in there. We hooked it up. It was good.
.... I have been meeting alot of cool people in here. There is this dude we dont F!ck with though. He is gross. He is in here for making love to his animals.
Yes people you read it right. He stated that the "guys" on the third floor are having sex, but the animal lover is "making love".
* Please excuse his ignorance
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